1:1 WORK

What grief taught me about pleasure…


I was in a grief-portal for over a week recently. Deep, old pain was calling for my presence and love, and I allowed myself to sink down and meet it as fully as I could, over and over again.

But pleasure was also a part of that experience!


Firstly, I know the importance of helping regulate my nervous system by allowing it to experience soothing, goodness and pleasure, even while tapping into very intensely painful states. So I made sure to still include simple self-care pleasure practices in my routine over that week, even when I felt resistance - breathing into my heart and yoni, giving myself a gentle breast massage, stroking my body lovingly. 

Secondly, it’s possible to go so deep into physical or emotional pain that it becomes a doorway to a kind of ecstatic presence. There were times when I was deep enough in my grief that the level of surrender was absolutely delicious for me. 

It’s not a question of trying to bypass the pain, deny it and seek pleasure instead. It’s about meeting the fullness of pain so deeply that sometimes a kind of pleasure arises spontaneously.

We can be making love in a way that feels dead, robotic, numb… and the pleasure we experience will be very limited. Or we can be crying with grief in a way that feels fully ALIVE and embodied, and it can become delicious and nourishing: a portal to the exquisite aliveness of the present moment. Presence is key. 

That's why so many of the exercises I share with clients are designed to cultivate more presence and connection with the subtle feeling landscape of your body. To drop down out of the busy mind, into the present-moment aliveness of body connection.

If you’d like to explore some of these practices, I warmly invite you to check out my Exquisite Pleasure starter pack on my website homepage. The practices are designed to help you cultivate more body-sensitivity, to awaken to your next level of orgasmic pleasure… AND they will help you experience more pleasure in the whole wild ride of life! 

Wishing you a beautifully delicious day, whatever life brings you. 

12th December 2022