Divine Feminine Ecstasy
It feels like right now I am in a constant cycle of death and rebirth, being called to let go of everything I have been unconsciously holding on to that is limiting me. I have been connecting very deeply with Gaia during this time, allowing her to hold me as I surrender and then nestle in her womb-like embrace to await rebirth.
Yesterday a beautiful thing happened, which my mind judged as weird. I want to share about it because it helps to undo the power that social conditioning has over me. I was connecting with Gaia in meditation and feeling so much unconditional love. I saw her as a personified unconditionally loving mother and she invited me to drink the loving nectar of her breast milk. I have attempted this kind of thing before during guided meditations... but yesterday I was actually ready to receive it fully. And it felt SO good to finally feel worthy to receive this unconditionally nurturing love. And then... I got turned on, a lot, and ended up transitioning to self pleasure. And this my mind judged as weird... firstly, weird that as an adult woman I am ‘drinking’ milk at the breast of a vision of Gaia that I am seeing. Secondly, VERY weird that I would then interpret this to be a sexual experience.
But the more I reflect on this the more I see how this is a totally beautiful, sacred experience, showing me more layers of conditioning to lovingly release. Mother Goddess and Gaia are facets of divine life force energy, pure sexual creative energy. It is totally natural that the experience of drinking in her divine ecstatic love would awaken the ecstatic sexual energy within me. In many cultures birth is an orgasmic, ecstatic experience. And the journey to motherhood begins with the act of lovemaking!
In most western cultures we are taught that motherhood and sexuality are two separate aspects of femininity (the fact that in the bible Mary is described as a virgin is typical of this: she has been stripped of her sexuality) but I am so grateful to be seeing all these layers of limitation and programming and releasing them, to step more into the flow of juiciness and love and abundance that is the birthright of every one of us.
I feel pretty vulnerable posting this, as I know many others may find it weird. But there is also so much power in speaking the truth. After many lifetimes where it was not safe to reclaim our feminine power, finally it is time!
23 December 2020
