Being a woman...
It’s time to talk about wombs and menstruation and sexual shame. My last week has been a lot about connecting in new ways with my yoni (womb/sexual organs). This has been emotional... involving very little of the juicy tantric-multiple-orgasms kind of yoni connection, and quite a lot of the tears-and-deep-shame variety.
I am reading a beautiful book called ‘Womb Awakening’, which is helping me to access so much unacknowledged shame about being a woman in our society. A woman has to be waxed and shaved, and not display too much sensuality or she’s judged, but not display too little or else she’s also judged... and goodness me, she had better not let anyone see her menstrual blood, the horror!!! It’s not OK for her to just BE as she naturally is.
I am going through a process of consciously acknowledging these unhelpful beliefs and judgements, allowing myself to feel the pain they have been subconsciously causing me, and then releasing them so I can choose my actions from a different place.
I will now happily be the only fully naked person on the beach at Why Nam. I’m letting my armpit hair grow out (although it is very fine because Debs of the past was so rooted in the belief that this hair was not OK that she had laser hair removal done). I drew yoni-inspired art, and tenderly remembered a time when Debs of 2 years ago had attempted the same thing but felt so weird, uncomfortable and ashamed that she had torn out that page from her sketchbook...
This is messy collective subconscious stuff coming through for loving witness and purging. It goes to the very core of what it means to be a human on this planet. We are all birthed by a woman, and the whole of the universe itself is created in a cosmic birthing process. And yet we live in an era that so strongly denies and represses natural feminine processes, urges and rhythms. We have become lost in the masculine.... but Mother Earth is beginning to reassert herself and reawaken the feminine within us all, whether we are journeying in a male or female body. For starters, this enforced lockdown can be thought of like a pregnancy... what do we want to gestate in this time? Who do we want to be reborn as, individually and collectively, when we can come back out into the world? And while we are in this process of gestation, how much softness, self-acceptance and yin-energy can we bring towards ourselves and others?
14 April 2020
