In 2019 I was making love with a man I loved very much in a cute AirB&B in northern Morocco. I wanted to deepen into even more intimacy and connection with him… but despite having a whole bunch of tantric tools in my proverbial back pocket, I absolutely could not be present with him. Familiar mental fantasies kept popping up, along with a compulsive desire to rush towards orgasmic release.
As those fantasties and goal-oriented patterns appeared once again, my mind got busy with self-judgement and all pleasure evaporated. I felt disempowered and frustrated that I had no freedom to choose from the vast range of sexual experiences that I knew existed outside of my habitual patterns.
My sexual healing journey had actually started almost a decade before that point, when I realised that my libido was waning and I chose to seek professional support to keep the intimacy alive with my then-husband. Ten years of intensive work followed: yoga, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, sex therapy, self-help books about sex, weekend tantra workshops and intimacy courses. That journey taught me self-love and gave me the courage to end a marriage that was no longer serving us, to make space for whole new levels of connection.
And I did begin to experience richer, deeper orgasmic experiences as I went further along my sexual awakening journey… but an overwhelming urge to disconnect from my new partner and use fantasies to orgasm would still arise very regularly. I was baffled and sad that these old patterns were still such a persistent part of my lovemaking.
"Incredible... it's been life changing. I'm so grateful for it all. It's opened me up whilst supporting me to feel more whole. Deborah you are a beautiful healing medicine woman."
- Lynsey
Finally, after that decade of slow, halting progress in reclaiming my sexual pleasure, something magical happened in 2020: I actually found the tools and practices that enabled me to rewire the programming of my sexuality, overcome my reliance on using mental fantasies for good (not that I totally reject them - but now I can actually CHOOSE from an empowered place if I want to use them), and experience the most delicious, connected lovemaking of my life, which just keeps on getting better! These tools taught me how to be IN the body, truly feeling what is there, instead of in my head.
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“I left every session feeling so much love for myself and feeling excited to try new things and explore with myself and with my partner… The intimate time I now spend with my partner is so much more fun and juicy and I feel a much deeper connection between us… things I wasn’t really sure how to achieve on my own. Debs is a trustworthy and gifted guide when it comes to exploring, reconnecting, and reclaiming the sensual and sexual parts of yourself. Can’t recommend her enough!"
- Rachel O
From that subtle embodied sensitivity, vastly deeper orgasmic experiences can unfold. Now I experience cosmic energy orgasms while meditating with the mountain. I enjoy blended anal-cervical orgasms in self pleasure with no sign of mental fantasy. I make love for hours with a partner, fully present in eye-gazing and shared breathing that makes it feel like our souls are melting together. That delicious, powerful sexual energy is also freed up to nourish other aspects of my life, so my creativity and intuition have skyrocketed.
And it’s my pleasure to guide others on their pleasure-awakening journeys too, using all I’ve learned during the last 15 years of reclaiming my own sexual pleasure. If you desire to access your next level of orgasmic pleasure too, I invite you to download my 3 free audio practices here.
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